"Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity."
-Kahlil Gibran
Initially, I didn't want a bridal party because I had read so many sad stories of women whose friendships were strained beyond repair after being in a wedding together. It's like the whole "don't room with your best friend" mantra when you go off to college. However, as time went on I couldn't shake the feeling that the day wouldn't be complete without these girls by my side. Our wedding is a celebration, and part of that celebration is honoring those who have enriched our lives together!
My big sister, best friend, and MOH Heidi
BM Laura with her stylin' baby boy
BM Tanya with her adorable daughter
These ladies keep me grounded, and their advice is always given in love--not jealousy or malice. They're truly Superwomen: wives and mothers with brilliant minds who carry themselves with grace and humility. They're also wonderfully crafty (think love children of Martha Stewart + Betty Crocker), and are the kind of people who would see a great idea for the wedding while driving around town and not only call to tell me about it, but follow up with an e-mail that includes pictures along with pricing information.
Tanya surprised me with this "candy bouquet" before my thesis defense. She crafted roses out of tissue paper and taped Nerds and Smarties to stems as the other "flowers." Such a nifty idea!
On the flip-side, I can count on these girls NOT to:
- Be demanding. Overbearing. Go into histrionics. I'm a sensitive person, so I tend to surround myself with people who have a good grasp on their emotional control buttons.
- Be a Debbie-Downer. We're all expected and allowed our bad days, and that's what friends are for--to listen, be a sounding board, or whatever role needs to be filled at the time. However, these girls will never try to bring me down if I'm not having a bad day, too.
- Be a hurtful gossip. I'm still surprised by how vulnerable planning a wedding makes me feel. Because a lot of emotional strain occurs during the planning process, the last thing I need is to second-guess my confidants.
Florence Isaacs says that “there has to be balance in a friendship for it to be healthy--not one person whose needs get met and another whose needs are overlooked." I'm blessed to have three remarkable women standing up for me on my wedding day, and to them I make this vow: you will always be first and foremost my friends, and then my bridesmaids.
What do you admire about your girls? What promises will you make to them as you plan your big day?
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